Divorced… but Married?

I was looking at a frail Indian (ex) Superstar Rajesh Khanna waving from the balcony of his much once-upon-a-time tourist location of India – his bungalow Aashirwaad. And, no one could miss the most gorgeous woman/mother/grandmother of our times – actress Dimple Kapadia behind him! Then, the Superstar passed way. And, behind him mourning was again Dimple, the Kapadia! Mourning? Really? What did she share except pain, heartbreak & tears with the man whom we could all die for in his ‘super ‘days!? That’s “our Indian woman” – society salutes, adores and gives respect to this martyr image of single, legally divorced & (dis) empowered woman!

Now, let’s turn the chapter.

Saif Ali Khan. The Indian actor and a Nawab (Prince). Eloped and married at 21 to the empowered firebrand actress daughter of Rukhsana Sultan – Amrita Singh. Many years of matrimony turned tables, as the empowered and strong woman in Amrita Singh could no more accept infidelity (to read as plural!) of her grow, growing and grown-up Saifu! Saif Ali Khan’s journey with women is a public knowledge, leading to marriage with the most gorgeous, young (in age & grey cells?) and talented Kareena Kapoor. Amrita Singh relationship status – Divorced and Single.

I have often wondered, why do only Indian women feel “guilty” if the “protector, provider, providence” (to be read as karmic and actually none of the above) moves on and away from her life? Even if the more empowered (Amrita Singhs & Dimple Kapadias of the world) initiate the proceedings, while the lesser known are “thrown out”, their relationship status (to the world at large) remains – Single and Divorced (full stop).

Does the female libido die out with the 3 Ps (Protector etcetera, etcetera and THE most important ‘P’ HE thinks HE has!!)?? Or, the male libido needs more validation that there is a continuum in his continuity of life, after divorce? Does the desire to have a companion, love and sharing wired differently in God’s creation? The answer is an obvious – NO.

Such is the horrific depth of conditioning in an Indian women, who is fed with (in) mother’s chromosome formation to remain “pure, pious, perfect (to be read as one word – VIRGIN)” and belong only to that one man – to be/ should be/would be printed on her wedding card.

The empowered of Cosmopoliton INDIA are changing slowly, but in the real INDIA (REAL INDIA consists of Muzaffarnagars, Jharkhands and Tumkurs please & not in Mumbai-kars, Delhi-ites & Bangalore-eans…) relationship status remains – Single and Divorced (full stop – of/for life).

The feminist movement has also conditioned many with “I am single by choice”. That’s rare and unreal, with the mind playing its own game of conditioning, and ego patting its back. Under-layered is a desire suppressed and a mind that keeps the announcement tag of, “You are strong, individualistic and independent. So you do not have these lowly, common desires. They are only for the weak & meek. You must rise above and beyond.” (To be read as ‘spiritual’.) OR statements most dis-empowering – “This is a male-dominated society: As long as you have a father, brother, husband – you have standing. Once you don’t have them, you have no importance.”

Change is pertinent. Change is de-conditioning. Change is expression of natural desire.
Change = Relationship Status = Divorced. In a Relationship /Re-married by choice/Exploring personal freedom.

Section:: Empowered Gender