5 State(ment)s of Dis-empowerment

The Five State(ment)s of Dis-empowerment in Marriage… and the way to Empowerment

1.

WO-MAN
My husband gives me all the freedom.

HE is not doing any special favour. You are born free.

My wife is constantly checks/asks about mobile messages, picks-up my phone if ringing, keeps a note on who is on my facebook…

SHE is abusing your private space. BUT re-visit your past and see if you “out of love” allowed her this space in the first place! It is never too late to say “NO”.

 

2.

My husband does not like my friend as s/he is very bold/shares her/his feelings with me as a trusted friend would.

My wife feels that my female colleague/friend is “too close” to me – although it is a plain platonic friendship. It is better that I do not relate to her anymore, as I fear the tension it creates.

Thus, I have let my friend go.

You have a right to choose friends, just as S/HE does. It is one fe/male friend today, there will be another tomorrow… It is not a power-game. It should be a partnership based on love. Not FEAR.

 

3.

I should not have gone out of the way to advise/support my side of the family. It upsets my husband.

Your side of the family does not become “alien” because HE thinks so. Otherwise, HE too should not “go out of the way” to advise/support his family – does that really/rarely happen?

My wife (Read as: Educated, CEO & Ambitious) feels it is such a waste of time on a weekend to listen to my mother (Educated but home-maker) discussing her “sarees, jewellery, family & kitty party friends!”

A weekend for a mother that has given “you” as a precious gift to your wife should be spent on “listening to her desire”. It does not have “ambition”, but love.

 

4.

It was not my right to comment /suggest in front of his friends. He called me “stupid” in front of them, and asked me to “keep quiet”.

This is a form of abuse. To call names/downsize you in front of people (or in isolation). Would you be able to do the same to him?

She is always correcting/advising me. There can never be a discussion. It is always an argument leading to fights. I have stopped responding and now keep quiet. There is less tension.

Is it?
You now have blood pressure/diabetes/overweight/heart ailment/ulcer/addiction… or another relationship!
Silence is not always golden. Especially in marriage. You are being abused.

 

5.

How can I refuse intimacy (read – sex) to my husband even if I was not feeling like? He was in such great mood!

You have a right to refuse. Otherwise, it is sexual abuse – very common in marriages.

She does not like my experiments with intimacy (read-sexual acts). She does not like to discuss. It has become the same boring “job” that I must do being a man! There is no excitement left of exploration.

WO-MAN (read-wife) – On the above note – Participate. Innovate. Motivate.

If Not – QUESTION the relationship!

 

Section:: Empowered Gender